My Xmas presents from Ben's family

It's a strange sight to see two people in the dark of late evening, each wearing a backpack and carrying two boxes, one with a tiny dog on a leash, walking slowly through an alley on the way to their apartment from the closest parking spot they could get. And this is the sight Charlie, or so we call the guy who digs through the dumpster behind Agate Alley Bistro every few days, saw as we struggled to get the Christmas presents home for a grand opening.

"Christmas presents?" you ask, because you're humoring me even though you know the whole story already. "But it's July." And indeed it is. July 2009, not December 2005 when I originally received these presents from my good friend Ben and his very sweet and maniacally Christmas-present-frenzied family. Gather round, children, and I will tell you the story.

I was in New York with Ben's family for Christmas, they threw several hundred pounds of Christmas presents at me and each other, we all collapsed from exhaustion, I had too many presents to take home so I left them there, Ben said he would send them, Ben said he would send them, Ben said he would send them, Ben said he would send them, Ben said he would send them, and then Ben sent them.

Phew.

Anywho, zap back to July 2009 and here we are, John and I, opening the boxes with apprehension and excitement, just like on Christmas morning. I found the following items in the boxes:

a TON of newspaper to pad my precious gifts
a travel bag with a million compartments
a brown leather purse
a candle
another candle
a tiny holiday candle
a scrub and body butter gift set
a set of three suede journals with matching pencil
brown leather journal
brown leather notebook
black leather address book
picture album
stationary envelopes
Mickey Mouse pen with magnetized flying Mickey action figure attached
tin of sour apple Altoids chewing gum
Macbeth eraser
Apples to Apples
blue leather picture frame
Dr. Seuss characters book-ends
suction-cup robot that climbs walls
book from the 70s on behavior management for teachers
two-headed nickel
mini fm radio with earbuds
paper ray gun
ice cream cone popper
mini ice cream cone popper
squidgy rubber spiky ball
Kiss my Face mini bottle of shower gel
candy cane mini tissues package
squidgy rubber spiky ball with eyes
holiday washcloth
hot pink feather sparkly pen
lavender scent pouch
dreidel soap
pig jax
Henry VI pencil
Disneyland playing cards
Shakespeare emergency pancho
puppy notepad
jumping candy
Skittles Lipsmacker
Flipflop notepad
tiny Buzz Lightyear rolling action figure
slinky ring with beads on it
Shakespeare chocolate
tiny box creature with features (similar in concept to Mr. Potato Head)
Flippable stretchy spiky rubber head cap
A leather bookmark with a picture of Ben in it
various candies I had to throw away because they were really old

It was again an incredibly exciting and exhausting process. And now, as I look at the hurricane that is my living room, knowing I must find a place in my house for all these things, and dreading the daunting task of uncrumpling and smoothing out the seven full newspapers Ben used, I can't help but think, "How long till next Christmas?"