Dusk or Twotlight
Chapter 1
As I regained my footing I knocked over my stereo and it suddenly exploded into a million pieces. "You alright up there?" Asked Bob. We weren't close.
It occurred to me that before this catastrophe I had been unpacking. Ever since I had gotten to Firth, Idaho (population 408), I had been feeling rather restless. I looked at my half-unpacked bag and sighed heavily. It was velvety but authoritative.
8 comments:
I wanted you to read this before I wrote anymore because I want your opinion on the style. I didn't know how subtle we wanted the humor to be. Obviously if we want it to be ridiculous, we should keep the description of her duffle bag. If not, jokes like "We weren't close" and how ludicrous her clumsiness is should be our focus. Either way, I definitely think the book should be about almost nothing until the very end when we introduce a thick plot that unfolds in a few pages. Then we can conclude with more no plot.
*any more*
Oh My God. My mother who actually likes the books found that hilarious... I love the description of the duffle bag, but I'm not sure if we should go that far... We can still definitely use outrageous descriptions for voices, but...
Also what do you think about Brutta for Bella? (it's ugly in Italian... I think maybe it is too much too, but erm...) Or maybe just call her Mary (Mari?) and get it over with. Edward should probably be something like Samuel...
You're totally right about the subtlety. I was thinking we should start out more subtle and become increasingly ridiculous.
Also, Brutta is perfect. As perfect as Samuel's glistening chestal region.
I'm going to continue writing, but you should chime in whenever. Since there's no plot you could even take over my intro and I could write a two week sequence in which nothing happens. Or vise versa. Whatevs.
What about an older name for Edward though? Like Ermin, Escott, Erwin, Englebert, or Elford (to name a few)? Not that I'm just looking up the E section of old man names on google or anything...
OK so I started on a two-week sequence, but you can also do a two-week sequence if you want. Also, mine's not done. Some of my jokes may be a teensy over the top. Oh well. I need to get out the raw material before I can revise it. You're free to look, but don't judge. [self deprecation].
comments are fun
Ooooo! What about Edmert?
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